What about me?

It has been one of those weeks, well months, okay years, where it seems like everyone is being acknowledged for their hard work and life changing news: study abroad, interviews, awards, and engagements (lots of engagements).

Meanwhile, I'm just over here like "what about me"?

Don't get me wrong, I am happy for everyone. Especially since most of these accomplishments are for my family members and friends. However some of my disdain is from the fact that I feel neglected. It feels like I'm doing the exact same things (minus the getting ready to marry thing) and haven't been acknowledged. I've been working hard, getting good grades, and all that jazz. A little recognition would hurt would it? It feels like I'm getting bitter.

Man I hate that word: bitter. Ever since one of my managers refer to me as being bitter I vowed to never let anyone call me that again. It sounds like a term someone would say to someone who's old and hates life. And I'm not old, I'm still in my 20's! And here I am, referring to myself as bitter, which needs to stop.

Maybe the reason why I want to stay so involved is because I want to be noticed? Which isn't a bad thing, but that can't be the only reason right? Sometimes service and hard work in itself is rewarding enough. Looking back on last year, I've done a lot of things I should be grateful for that have put me in the spotlight, such as being able to travel to Africa. A lot has happened in my life already, and I don't need some title or award to prove my worth. 

I sometimes forget that I'm not in control of my life; God is. I need to be grateful for what He has given me, and what He has allowed me to do.  He must have a greater plan for me, something that can't be measured by a piece of paper or a new title to add to my resume.

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. ~ Philippians 4: 11-12

My own worst enemy

I'm currently in the middle of rehearsals for the Aquinas College production of "Chicago". In addition to these rehearsals, I have classes, my internship, extra curriculars, and a new found freedom of being 21. While I love staying busy and actively involved, sometimes I wonder if it's too much for one person. Am I able to tell when I've taken on too much responsibility? The answer is no, but I'm getting better.
I'm starting to realize that I am my own worst enemy. I tend to bite off more than I can chew, and I'm also very critical of myself. I recently talked with my internship coordinator and supervisor about my schedule, as well as my progress at my internship. I was being WAY too critical of myself, and not realizing how much I've learned since I started there in October or how much of an asset I've been to the organization. Instead I was focusing on the little things that made me worry if I was doing my job right. I need to learn to focus on my accomplishments rather than my failures. In order to do this, I need to choose the activities I really care about succeeding in over the ones that I should do because "it will look good on my resume" or "it's not that much of a time commitment".
I decided to drop one of my classes, realizing that I don't need to take a full amount of credits each semester to get my money's worth for my tuition. Fortunately it won't mess up my plan to graduate next year (whoa, I graduate from college next year!). Just because I can do something doesn't always mean I should. My sanity is much more rewarding than burying my life in books and missing out on what the world outside of college has to offer. While it feels weird not taking a full 18 credits, and I haven't done this technically since freshman year, in the long run this decision is one step closer for me actually having a social life outside of school AND decent grades.

A Part-Time Common Read

Happy Labor Day! I can't believe it's already September. Here's hoping it actually decides to cool off soon. I hate all this hot, sticky weather!

Tionana

It's great being back in Grand Rapids! Although I'm still not completely settled into my new house, it's amazing how much progress I've made so far. Oh the things you can do when you don't have the Internet to distract you....

Remember

It's been exactly one week since I've been unemployed, and I've never been happier! In addition to having my brother visit and being done with summer school, I'm getting ready to move to Grand Rapids for the school year.

Not According to Plan

I'm done with summer school! Sweet freedom!

Er, sortof.

What I've Learned at Roman Wheel

Today is my last day at work! Who would've thought the idea of being unemployed would sound so good right now?

3 words

Happy 100th post! I can't believe how much my blog and I have been through since I first started in December.

Mr. Know It All

I got to spend the day with my second family, aka the Lanczaks, yesterday. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to see them this summer due to our busy schedules, but lucky I did! We went to a minor league baseball game for the Traverse City Beach Bums. Their two mascots are Suntan and Sunburn, two bears who play silly pranks and help interact with younger fans.

Solitude

I don't mind the company of others, in fact, if I may say so, I have some great friends and family. However, moments when I can be by myself and do what I want sometimes seem more appealing.

Time is Love

Since it is officially summer, that means my love for country music is evident! No matter what, Kenny Chesney's "Summertime" is on my playlist each summer. I have a pair of cheap shades on hand, a spirit of adventure, and, as of the end of this summer, possibly a tattoo.......

I Know How you Feel (or Do I?)

"Every cloud has a silver lining"
"It gets better"
"I'm here for you"
"I know your pain"
"Man that sucks"

Mistaken Identity

I got a bill on Saturday. No surprise since I'm in college. However, this bill was quite the opposite of what I expected....

It's Now or Never....

I keep seeing YOLO everywhere I look. It was catchy the first time, but I mean seriously? It's getting really old now. I see it in every other #hashtag, photo album title, and tattoo (now that's pushing it too far!).

I survived Africa, but more importantly, Africa survived me

Let's be Amish tonight

Day 11
05/16/12

*There is no post for Day 10, due to some controversial issues that went on during the day as well as some personal information that shouldn't have been online. I deleted that post from earlier today. I'm sorry if I offended anyone for what I posted and hopefully my future posts will not offend anyone.

What does Shutterstyle even mean?

Good evening! As you're reading this realize that I'm finally back home! It's been two months since I've been home, and how I've missed it so......

What would you like to know about me?

I remember participating in those 30 Picture Challenges over Facebook and thought it would apply well to my blog. Usually I have some sort of idea of what to blog about, but lately it feels more like rambling. And I want to be able to write about any topic that's given to me. But I'm only going to use it in case I can't think of something to write about. This is one of those days.

You want hummus with that?

New look, new post...who knew?

For those who know me you know I like change. I don't want things to look the same after a while. Whether it means recently dyeing my hair red, the debate of whether or not to get a tattoo and what of, updating my wardrobe, redesigning my blog, you name it!