Since I'm now living off campus, I have a place to truly call my home. Living on campus was nice and convenient, but it's not the same being able to go home. And speaking of home, as much as I wanted to go back to Grand Rapids, I didn't want to leave home. Weird right? This was the toughest year for me leaving home. I've been through so much this summer, it went by so fast! I didn't want to say goodbye, so instead, I said "see you later".
I was scared to leave home this year. I have no idea how this year will go. Everyone keeps saying your junior year of college will be one of the hardest years. Although my sophomore year was a year from hell. Remembering what happened last year when I came back to AQ,
I was hopeful and optimistic. As the semester went on, some
of the people around me were causing me to become less hopeful and pessimistic.
It was like they were teaching me everything on how people can be so rude to
you and not realize what they’re doing wrong. I realized it wasn't worth my happiness to keep them a part of my life, so I said goodbye.
I know I had to leave though, there was nothing for me in
Leelanau County. My roots will always be in Leelanau County, but I need to discover who I am before I realize who I want to be.
Humans use to be nomadic, which means we use to move constantly to find food, shelter, etc. It seems like such a crazy idea now to leave home. You don't realize how good you have it until you leave, but sometimes, that's what needs to be done. Everyone at school could tell I wanted to leave. I wanted to see the world, and I still do. I'm not sure of what my future holds for me, such as where I'll live, what my job will be, if I'll have a family, etc. Wherever I decide to settle, I want it to be where I'm proud to call it my home.
I first heard the phrase"moyo muti unomera pauno" when I was doing research for my Africa paper. It means "where roots take hold and don't let go". I'm thinking of getting a tree tattoo when I graduate from college with this quote. I want to remember that no matter where I go in life, I will always have a place to call my home, even if I'm not necessarily living there. I want to be strong like a tree and fully immerse myself wherever I decide to "take root".
Remember, it's never goodbye, it's "tionana", or "see you later". It's never goodbye unless you want it to be.
Tionana,
Jenn